My apologies, in passing, for not posting an article here for quite some time; for not, if you like, fulfilling my contract on this journal, but here I am, and I intend to discuss contracts today, in a round-about manner. In large part I am writing this simply because I have Pluto in the 12th and a Jupiter – Neptune square, thus I am required to transcend the treacle that is living life rather than trying to wade through it: I also have to find a way to justify my philosophy, and that has been the story of my entire life; the fact that I’ve been so bad at it is more than a testament to the ongoing state of existential anguish that I’ve lived the vast majority of my life suffering in, indeed, it is a hulking, menacing cliff-face that has surrounded me on all sides for as long as I can remember. The imperative of Pluto tells me that I am required to float above those looming walls, rather than shouting my despair into the heavens, and at long last I am beginning to understand how that might be possible. Insofar as justifying my stance goes (Jupiter – Neptune remember? Which says something about defending (square) the perceived impracticality (Neptune) of one’s philosophy(Jupiter)) then I can claim that it is simply not simple enough to explain simply, Alan Watts put it a little better when he explained that nobody’s mouth is big enough to say the whole thing. This is not due to the fact – as you might suspect – that there is so very much to understand, but rather because there is so much that we typically understand which is flawed, and we have to un-understand that first. In truth, the un-understanding is pretty much the whole nine yards (and having Mercury peregrine in Scorpio I always delighted as a child in the knowledge that the machine gun belt of the P51 Mustang, a most beautiful and graceful machine of death incidentally, was exactly 9 yards in length).
I wrote a book. Not necessarily to have it published (although I am sending it off anyway), but actually just to say it. Now I feel much better and I start to feel that lightness of being which is the precursor to flight. So, by addressing Jupiter and Neptune the path to Pluto is illuminated, at least a little. But this is all technical talk, and there is little sense in making a circuit diagram of philosophy when we all have our astrology. I love philosophy, and perhaps even more than that, psychology, but since you cannot very well doodle with a 12-tonne pencil, I cannot love it as a pastime. Astrology on the other hand is the most profound explanatory device, it sits at the opposite end of the spectrum from psychology which seeks to posit universal truths, and delivers individual truth instead, a truth which is – and I really cannot love this word since it is a plaything of kitchen and web-designers both – bespoke. What use is there for psychology in the face of that understanding? It is like treating your indigestion by throwing lumps of chalk into the local reservoir.Yes, psychology is fun, let’s say that, and psychotherapy is a lot of fun; invented by the Pluto in Leo generation so they can talk about themselves legitimately and as exhaustively as they’d like to be able to do for free. I mostly jest.
When you understand this (and this is an astrological truth, not a philosophical one, so it does not need to be remotely as rigorous for the aforementioned reason) then you are quickly able to grasp the reality that if your astrology is exactly who you are – in the sense that it is your contract with the Universe – then you need to stop feeling hard done by right about now. Now don’t worry, I feel hard done by all the time, so I am not claiming any superiority here, but I also realise, usually fairly shortly after, that I really have no grounds for feeling that way, because I chose this life, so there’s no use complaining about it.
Now, annoying as this understanding is, it’s also profoundly liberating. Sure you don’t get to blame everyone else for your crappy life (sorry Mum), and you don’t get to let yourself off the hook for behaving like an arse because somebody else made you do it, and of course you also have to stop complaining that everyone else is behaving like an idiot too, because really, they haven’t woken up (literally in most cases) to their astrology, actually to themselves or their free will, which self-evidently cannot exist when we are compelled by our astrology – you know, compulsively compelled… Free will is the most prevalent myth of our times, and ironically, usually it is nothing more than a nom-de-guerre we apply to our inability to behave differently! Free will is the lip-service we pay to the manacles of our astrology, not this vaunted and exalted state of enlightened self-determination that we so admire in ourselves and don’t actually have in the first place.
I know for example one man who blames me because of his Saturn – Pluto conjunction. I also know a woman who blames me because of her Venus – Chiron opposition. I have a brother who blames me because he has a Mars – Saturn quindecile. The list goes on, but what these people fail to see is that even had I never existed at all, they would have found somebody else to fulfil the necessities of their contract with the Universe, I am – quite frankly – irrelevant.
This realisation has led me to discard blame. I mean that in principle of course, because I blame people all the time (with Mars in Sagittarius in the 3rd I’d be as well to just accept that and take a soapbox with me wherever I go, just in case), but importantly, when it comes to a deeper understanding of myself, my motivations and my purpose, I’m the only person who makes things happen. The only nuance of this entire discussion that requires examination is the other side of the blame coin. I can stop blaming, but if I do that, then the gift, the silver lining of that release is the awareness that I no longer am required to accept blame. Simply put, your problems are not my fault.